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trigger-happy-buttmunch:

so there’s a pigeon i used to pass by in my old neighborhood all the time and he was really fat because people would just toss him food and literally he sat in the middle of the sidewalk and people would just step over him, he wouldn’t even flinch. seriously you could sit down next to him and just feed him and he would be chill.
he was there every day and all us locals would affectionately refer to him as ‘lard-ass’

trigger-happy-buttmunch:

so there’s a pigeon i used to pass by in my old neighborhood all the time and he was really fat because people would just toss him food and literally he sat in the middle of the sidewalk and people would just step over him, he wouldn’t even flinch. seriously you could sit down next to him and just feed him and he would be chill.

he was there every day and all us locals would affectionately refer to him as ‘lard-ass’


sherlockhoelmes:

studies show there’s a 100% chance of sex if u send these to your crush on valentine’s day trust me i’m a scientist


thegoodnam3saretaken:

c-cassandra:

story of my life!! have you ever had any of these dreams?

What about those dreams when someone calls you on the phone and you wake up talking to yourself? 


Ye, eat me bitch

Ye, eat me bitch


deductivereasonable:

h34rken:

put a fucking bag on your head and sleep you god damn piece of shit

take a nap on a fucking ski lift

why is that person grabbing their crotch
what, is there secret nudes in there

deductivereasonable:

h34rken:

put a fucking bag on your head and sleep you god damn piece of shit

take a nap on a fucking ski lift

why is that person grabbing their crotch

what, is there secret nudes in there


deductivereasonable:

h34rken:

put a fucking bag on your head and sleep you god damn piece of shit

take a nap on a fucking ski lift

deductivereasonable:

h34rken:

put a fucking bag on your head and sleep you god damn piece of shit

take a nap on a fucking ski lift


twinkpop:

when your mama takes the cookies out of the oven

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Anonymous said: you look fucking stupid in a dress, DUDE

dajo42:

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come closer one second

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little closer

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okay close enough

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i have a simple question: which of us is wearing a crown?

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that would be me.

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do you know what this crown means?

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it means i look fucking cute

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and you’re the human embodiment of a sore butt

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now as your fucking queen, i royally declare

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that i am beautiful and you are a listerine enema

bohemian-ragdoll:

little-miss-transgirl:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

lexlifts:

the-barghinator:

gracefthannah:

boys are fucking stupid

rip his fucking head off

…and then shit on his neck forreal

"I’m gay"
NO NO I BOY AND YOU GIRL AND WHEN I SAY JUMP YOU SAY HOW HIGH

-stab-

This is fucking important.


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